worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
