I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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