we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Operation Purity has been aborted
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
