Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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