I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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