Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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