quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
