Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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