i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
