Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
