I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
