I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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