another moral hangover. fuck.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
