How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
