I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
