Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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