If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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