Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
