I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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