I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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