C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You took a bar mat shot.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
