Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
