so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
