The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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