I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
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I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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