we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
