You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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