So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
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She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
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I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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