Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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