i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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