MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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