So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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