I don't think brook has ever known best
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
