I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just invented taco cereal.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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