Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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