Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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