Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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