38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
