Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
