There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
