It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
