In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
