What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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