i can't believe i had my finger in that
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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