Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
