how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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