Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
