Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
