dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
