Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
