I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
