We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
