I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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