That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
