And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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