May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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