How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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