I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
soo... how was my night?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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