im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I just put wine in my tea
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
