I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
