Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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