i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
