every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
