I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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