Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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