I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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