I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
