After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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