R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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