Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?

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  (413): I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/zgr7
  Replies (90) Good night (1635) Bad night (3725)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.

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  (248): New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb. http://tfl.nu/zkca
  Replies (15) Good night (3272) Bad night (1022)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.

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  (662): We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac. http://tfl.nu/8ele
  Replies (19) Good night (6113) Bad night (766)
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  (510): View more from California

  I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.

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  (510): I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself. http://tfl.nu/0jlx
  Replies (74) Good night (1099) Bad night (3318)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.

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  (803): I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again. http://tfl.nu/aquc
  Replies (14) Good night (996) Bad night (4268)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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  (740): Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level. http://tfl.nu/r4mw
  Replies (21) Good night (4498) Bad night (820)
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  (562): View more from California

  he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him

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  (562): he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him http://tfl.nu/6w3v
  Replies (8) Good night (3190) Bad night (951)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.

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  (270): We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/l81q
  Replies (7) Good night (3870) Bad night (1344)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.

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  (505): Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold. http://tfl.nu/drpi
  Replies (6) Good night (1717) Bad night (758)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

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  (201): In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye. http://tfl.nu/tv9w
  Replies (7) Good night (827) Bad night (1441)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.

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  (919): I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career. http://tfl.nu/kw3u
  Replies (14) Good night (2063) Bad night (598)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.

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  (404): May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks. http://tfl.nu/ar41
  Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (420)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?

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  (651): Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat? http://tfl.nu/25mc
  Replies (6) Good night (449) Bad night (959)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.

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  (406): Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us. http://tfl.nu/j8er
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (639)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing

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  (513): I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing http://tfl.nu/1krz
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (137)

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