The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
