how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.