Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.