Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.