Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm with your mom on this one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel. (224): I'm with your mom on this one. http://tfl.nu/c28m
  Replies (9) Good night (1154) Bad night (3034)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo http://tfl.nu/izrq
  Replies (16) Good night (4882) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  New charity walk idea!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished. (202): New charity walk idea! http://tfl.nu/skxt
  Replies (31) Good night (13340) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends. http://tfl.nu/oh1c
  Replies (10) Good night (4992) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (368): View more from

  you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (368): you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning. http://tfl.nu/nfr6
  Replies (22) Good night (6966) Bad night (1427)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day. http://tfl.nu/d01x
  Replies (16) Good night (6077) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  so yall hooked up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone. (1-203): so yall hooked up? http://tfl.nu/j54f
  Replies (19) Good night (5526) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night. http://tfl.nu/myre
  Replies (3) Good night (3039) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I was the one passing out cake at the bars

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I was the one passing out cake at the bars http://tfl.nu/ucfe
  Replies (4) Good night (2397) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories" http://tfl.nu/n295
  Replies (4) Good night (1749) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed http://tfl.nu/ggi5
  Replies (13) Good night (2182) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance. http://tfl.nu/j1w6
  Replies (12) Good night (1030) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference. http://tfl.nu/5ngp
  Replies (6) Good night (807) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression. http://tfl.nu/o4mu
  Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room. http://tfl.nu/nfbu
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (269)

Randomize