3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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