hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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