You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
