Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
