Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
