No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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